Friday Morning

The end of the week, and wondering what this weekend will bring...FBI warnings to be vigilant have really made me think just how much my own world has changed in the past month. I don't know how to put it into words, but there's a general feeling of uneasiness that has become almost second nature to me now. At times, it's worse and at others, not quite so bad, but the sense of danger is constant. I've been hearing reports of more and more people seeking help for the depression and PTSD--a couple of words that truly strike fear in my heart. At one time, these were "labels" had been applied to me, and I want to avoid that again, if it's all possible. True, I've been wary and worried and sad and upset, but nothing to the degree that I used to feel when my depression became such an overwhelming problem that I did have to seek help. I just pray that I can see the symptoms for what they are before they become so pronounced that I'm not able to deal with them. And I'm sure, as sure as I can be, that there are many, many people in the same situation that I find myself in...trying to cope, and not to give in to the self-fulfilling prophecy of fear. I think I may be rambling a little this morning, and it's no wonder, considering what the past month has brought to this country and the people who live here. We Americans had been living in a false sense of security on so many levels, and the attack was the kind of wake-up call that shocked us all beyond our worst imaginings. Having lived outside the US as a child and young adult, I am acutely aware of the differences in our society and the rest of the world--such openness, and yet such a restricted view of the rest of the world was bound to lead to a nasty "fall." Living in (West) Germany during the mid-seventies, when the Bauder Mainhoff gang was running around blowing up post offices was a frightening way to learn how other countries deal with civil unrest, and how the American way of life is so very different. There has been talk of issuing national id cards, and subjecting citizens here to id-checks, and there has been quite an outcry from several groups, decrying such an "invasion." As an Army brat, being asked to show my ID card was no "big deal," and not something I learned to question when I was growing up. I do feel that personal privacy is critical to maintaining our way of life, but I have to wonder if there will ever again be such an "open society" as we have had here for the past couple of centuries. I sincerely doubt it, and that makes me sad, too, since I know how much it will change us as a people and as a nation if we find ourselves living under progessively restrictive laws in response to the terrorism that is so rampant in the world. Still rambling, and now it's time to close and get to work...praying for a quiet day, and a peaceful weekend.